The other day I dropped the kids off at my moms house a little bit earlier than I usually do. I had some errands to run before going into work, and I knew that if I didn't go in the morning, I probably wasn't going to get done what I needed to get done in time. Well, my errands took a little bit longer than I thought they would. I wasn't running late for my first music lesson, but I also didn't give myself enough time to squeeze in a pump-break before hand.
You see, being a breastfeeding mom is one of the best experiences I have had the privilege of sharing with all three of my children. It's super convenient for my life style, and I love the connection I've been able to establish with each one of my children through breastfeeding. But...if I'm honest, when I'm not with my children, breastfeeding can be super stressful. I strongly dislike pumping. It's not as efficient, there is no personal connection, and I usually can't get anything done while I'm pumping. And, to top it all off, my babies have always consumed more milk from bottles than I can replace while pumping. So, if I get one pump-break in every 4 to 6 hours, I'm able to pump enough for one 6 to 8 ounce bottle. Meanwhile, my baby is usually drinking two bottles within that time frame.
With my first baby, this stressed me out so much. There were times that I was so stressed out during my pump-break that the stress of the situation would actually make it very difficult to express milk. Breastfeeding is tricky like that. The more relaxed you are, the better your supply and the better your overall experience and connection with your baby. But, when you're hooked up to a machine, it can be very difficult to stimulate a relaxed situation with positive results.
Ugh, it can be hard to admit it, but the same is true for my spiritual relationship with God. Peace produces. I know that statement may seem like a fragmented sentence, but, I assure you, the statement is complete. PEACE PRODUCES. And, the opposite is a hard truth: stress makes it difficult to bear fruit—fruit of the Spirit, fruition, life, and just about anything else positive you can think of. It's a huge wakeup call.
I need peace to produce peace. It's the same principle as organic gardening and farming. I need to have the fruit, to have the seed, to produce more fruit. You see, peace is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), and without the fruit of the Spirit being evident within me, it can be difficult to produce more fruits of the Spirit. And, when I'm able to produce more fruit of the Spirit then I'm also able to edify and nourish others.
"Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another." (Romans 14:19)
This time around, breastfeeding with my little girl, I decided early on that I wasn't going to let myself get stressed out about my supply. I wasn't going to stress if I had to skip a pump-break. I wasn't going to freakout if the baby consumed more than I was able to replace while I was away from her. I chose early on that I was going to be peaceful about it. And, can I tell you what? I have had the best stash of milk that I've ever had. I've had more than I've needed—even when I haven't been able to keep up with her consumption during work hours. I'm not even kidding! In my choosing peace, God has worked everything out!
So, guess what happened the other day when I ended up not being able to have a break before my first lesson. Another one of my students let me know they were going to be a half-hour late for their lesson and I was able to take a break a little bit later. I didn't stress out, and God worked it out!
I truly believe that when I chose to have peace—when I chose to stand firm in the word of God, the loving, caring, giving, peace of His word—that I give God way to produce fruitfulness in my life.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
It's the unwavering trust—the trust that believes that God will work everything out for good—that allows peace to be produced in my life.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You"
(Isaiah 26:3)
So, I focus my eyes away from the "what ifs." I focus my eyes away from the worry, away from the doubt, away from the stress, away from the anxiety, away from the fear, and away from the lies. Lord, I look to you! I look to You, and I trust in Your provision! I trust in Your goodness, and in Your faithfulness. I trust in YOU, always.
Through my unwavering trust in God, peace is produced. And, my peace produces more peace. And, now I have more peace than I need for just myself.I have enough peace that can be used to nourish and care for others.
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