My husband and I have been wanting to get an outdoor play-set for our kids for over a year now. I even went through the process of customizing a design with a local company last year. After hearing all of the numbers, and trying to come up with a game plan, we decided to wait.
This past month, I started to feel antsy again. My sons were both crying ugly tears because they missed playing at the play ground. (To catch you up to speed, there's a pandemic going on right now and all of the public play areas are closed). I was really wishing we had gotten a play-set for our back yard.
After looking for about a month for a used one, a friend of ours found one that someone was giving away for free. It was an older set that needed some TLC, but we saw potential in it. We wanted to make it work for our kids.
We had to replace some of the wood, but we were able to keep the main frame of most of the structure. As we pulled some of the damaged wood away from the structure, I saw a glimpse of what God was doing in my own soul. Then Holy Spirit whispered, “I’m making you a new creation.”
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV
But, it was a different kind of newness than what I was expecting. Time after time, I’ve envisioned myself becoming this “new creation”—tested and purified by the fire. And, every single time there‘s nothing left of my old self. But, as we pulled the play-set a part I realized that God let’s me keep my core. He lets me still be...me.
Sometimes that change feels entirely new, though. And, that’s not because I’m becoming a whole new person. No, on the contrary. I’m just becoming more and more like the creation that God has already created me to be—my true self—my God-self.
“But whoever...believed..., He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves. These are the God-begotten...”
John 1:12 MSG
He’s refining my heart, and replacing what’s broken. And, man, does that cutting away feel painful. I mean, I’ve allowed myself to be attached (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) to whatever is being cut off, and it hurts. It hurts deep.
Some of the bolts were rusted into the wood so much that it wasn’t an easy removal. The pieces had to be sawed off, hacked off, and hammered to shreds before we were able to remove them from the core. Not everything that God does is pretty in the process, but everything He does turns out beautiful in the end.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time...” Ecclesiastes 3:11a NIV
One of the most painful processes of becoming new is being stripped of my own self portrait—the picture I’ve painted of who I am.
I borrowed a power-washer to clean off the core of the structure. As my girl-friend was walking me through how to use it she tells me, “Don’t touch the water once it’s on. You’ll give your skin an abrasion.” I had never used one before, but when I saw how quickly it started chipping away at the old paint and dirt I knew it was putting out some serious force. That’s how strong God’s cleansing power is. Actually, no. It’s stronger than that.
When God makes me new, He washes away every filthy lie I’ve told myself of who I am. You see, other people can tell me who I am, but only I can be the one to put on the label. So, in the end, I am only who I allow myself to be. I’m only who I believe myself to be. But, once all of those lies are stripped away, there, underneath is the core of who God created me to be. And, I’ll tell you what, that wood underneath looked brand new. I could see the wood grain again. It was starting to take on the likeness of it’s original form—a tree.
“Do not lie to each other [or yourself], since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” Colossians 3:9-10 NIV
A few years back I wrote a song called “Forevermore.” The lyrics to part of the bridge are, “Your grace and Your mercy, flowing over me, making me more like You.” And, here, here in the midst of struggle, in the middle of uncertainty, in the process of pain, this is where His grace and mercy flow over me. Here, here is where I am made new.
Listen to “Forevermore” here: https://youtu.be/PUKvkeWZUKc
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