"Why?" has become the response of choice for my 3-year old. He's been asking "why?" so often now that it's become a habitual response. At first, I tried to be really patient with him and actually explain the reasons why. I'd explain to him why I couldn't always multitask. I'd explain to him why some trucks were red while others were blue. I'd explain things like precipitation and migration. I'd explain it all. But, the hardest thing for him to understand was why he couldn't do certain things. "It's for your safety," I would say. Or, 'because you could hurt yourself or someone else." He started rebutting everything I'd ask him not to do. And, for some reason, he always needed to know why he could or couldn't do something.
I found myself getting really frustrated with all of the questions. What started out as a learning experience became a longing for him to just trust me. I wanted him to know that when I asked him to do something it was because I loved him and cared about him. I wanted him to just trust, listen, and obey.
Then I found myself asking my own "why" questions. Why couldn't trust be enough? Why couldn't my son just know that I have his best interest in mind? Why?
Then it hit me--it hit me the way it always does. That self-reflection that makes me realize that I'm just as guilty in my lack of trust. The Holy Spirit had to intervene and make this a learning moment for me too, and not just for my son. Why couldn't I just trust God? Why did I always need to know the reasons why I was in the season of life that I'm in? Why did I always need to know why things were or weren't going the why I wanted them to? Why? Why did I need to be patient? Why is there suffering? Why wouldn't God intervene and save? Why? Why? Why?
What I've realized is that the question "why" doesn't just whittle away at trust. It creates a space for worry and instability. Wonder. Worry. Why. Wobble.
Most of us are quite familiar with Proverbs 3:5-6. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." This verse is tell me exactly what I need to do--TRUST. Just trust. Because, when I start to wonder and "why" then I'm focusing on what I know. I'm focused on my own understanding. I'm saying I need to be able to understand first...then, and just maybe then, I'll trust.
But, that's a really big maybe. Because, from what I've learned as a mama, giving the answers to the "whys" doesn't always lead to immediate trust. Sometimes it leads to more questioning. It leads to the, "are you sure?" or "is that really true?" kind of questions. But, when I lean on God, FULLY trusting in Him, then He directs my life and everything works out the way it's supposed to.
Questioning God's plans for me can be a dangerous thing. It can be dangerous because it can lead me away from His plans. My questioning of God's sovereignty can make me about-face in the opposite direction of where He's leading me...and in turn my actions solidify my lack of trust in God. Because, now I'm wondering why He would let something so awful happen to me even though what happened to me was because I was running away from His plans in the first place.
Let me expound on that. Just think about the story of Jonah. Jonah was a prophet of God. God trusted him. God trusted him enough to ask him to lead an entire nation to Him. But, Jonah didn't trust God the way that God trusted in Jonah. Instead Jonah ran from God. When he ran he jeopardized his safety and the safety of others. He was caught in a storm that could have been a disaster for an entire crew. And, who even knows what would have happened to all of the people he was supposed to minister to if God hadn't redirected him.
So much hinges on trust. Trust is foundational to good relationships: child and parent, friend and friend, husband and wife. Trust is what keeps me going in the direction I'm supposed to be going.
Trust is liberating! Trust enables me to live my life with PEACE. Isaiah 26:3 says, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." You mean to tell me that trust is the key to peace? Yes. Trust is the key to peace. Why leads to wonder, leads to worry, leads to wobble (in faith), leads to worse and worse and worse. But, Trust. Ah, sweet, sweet, trust. Trust is what keeps me firm in the foundations of God's promises and walking in the way of His will.
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