"No." It's been one of my 13-month old's favorite words lately. It's almost hilarious how often he says it. This is especially true when he substitutes other words with his new favorite word. I say, "Good morning, baby." He says, "No!" I say, "You seem hungry, would you like a yogurt (his food of choice)? He says, "No!" and then cries for yogurt.
It's always interesting to see the wheels turning in his head. He knows the difference between "no" and "yea," but lately his first choice is almost always "no." Every once in a while he'll stop himself mid "no" and change his response to a "yea." In those moments I can see him really trying. It's almost as if he's fighting off the urge to yell "Noooooo!"
After a few days of watching my son struggle to shake his case of the "no's," I started thinking about how hard it really is to step away from a negative mind set. At home, my husband calls it The Complain Train. And, once you willingly decide to get on it's practically impossible to get off.
Negativity steals everything away from me, but it always starts with my joy. Then it takes away satisfaction. I start to judge others more harshly, and as a response, I also turn on myself. I start picking away at everything I do until I feel completely inadequate and incapable to accomplish anything. Negativity opens the door to depression and invites loathing in for a tea-party. And, before I know it I'm having negative thoughts about something I used to be confident about. I'm saying, "I can't" to something I know I can do. And, just like my little one-year old, I can feel my mind and heart fighting what my mouth is saying, but I can't seem to help it. This negative snow-ball effect is more like an avalanche that will seek out everything I love and destroy it.
That Complain Train isn't as glamorous as it seems. It always looks tempting, but "there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death..." Death to love. Death to joy. Death to peace. Is that really the price I want to pay to take a ride on this train? Because, the destination is not anywhere near where I want to be.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)
James 4:11 says, "Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it." The "law" that's being referred to here is the law of Love that Jesus gave in the gospels. "Jesus declared, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22: 37-39) This means that speaking illy of others (and myself) is directly disobeying the greatest commandment that God ever gave to His people. Ouch.
Any time I choose to speak negatively (or even think negative thoughts) I'm deliberately deciding to be without love. I am anti-Love. And, if God is love (1 John 4:16), then I'm choosing to be without Christ. I am anti-Christ. Negativity is anti-Christ. 1 John 4:3 says, "...every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming, and is already in the world at this time." So, if I don't speak with truth and love and mercy and grace and understanding and virtue than I am without Love. I am without God.
I want to be a proactive positive thinker. I want to be a proactive positive speaker and doer. I want to live with my mind "set on things above" (Colossians 3:2). I want to show my children the positive attitude that encompasses "I can do all things through Christ [Love] who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
This seems so much easier said than done. How am I to jump off The Complain Train and never buy her one-way ticket again? Easy. By simply making the choice to see the best in the world. By choosing to see the good in people. By looking at life through God's eyes. By thinking constructive thoughts rather than destructive lies.
As 2019 draws near, I want to make the active choice to look on with positive eyes. I don't want to feel worried, or scared, or stressed about any of the good things that God has in store for me and my family. I want to embrace change with grace and I want to move forward with mercy and humility. Each day is a gift, and I want to begin each morning with "YES!"
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (Philippians 4:8)
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