This morning my family and I went for a bike ride. I was pulling my daughters in the bike trailer like I’ve done a dozen times already this spring, but this time it was much more difficult than usual. I wanted to stop and check on the trailer to make sure nothing was wrong, but my 6-year-old went speeding off ahead. My husband was quite a ways behind us helping my 4-year-old, so I wasn’t able to stop and look for whatever was making it so difficult to pedal. I needed to keep up with my oldest son before he reached the intersection ahead.
I tried changing gears and adjusting the limit, but nothing was helping. The muscles in my legs were burning as I attempted to keep up with my son while pulling my daughters behind me. When we reached our destination, I jumped off of the bike and noticed the issue right away. There was a completely flattened tire on the trailer. I wasn’t able to do anything about it then and there. I had to get back home first. That’s where the tools and the resources were to address the problem.
My husband offered to pull the girls home, but in my stubbornness, I refused. I knew I could do it, even if it was going to be hard, even if it was going to exhaust me. In my strength I could still do it.
I could sense that God was teaching me a lesson in all of this.
Normally I’m a person that pushes. I push through to start journeys even when it’s hard and even when it’s difficult. But, I don’t always pay attention to why things are difficult. I just keep pushing.
It’s still possible to reach my destination when things are difficult. I can still complete the task or the journey when things are hard, but I can’t always love the task or find joy in the journey when things are hard. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, and I haven’t prepared for the adventure the way that I should have…
Sometimes I don’t pause to make sure I’m whole. I don’t take time to make sure I’m healed. And, in turn, the journey causes a lot more pain and damage than it would have if I had given myself time to be repaired before I ever started.
I had to step back and ask myself why I push so hard while I’m still so broken, and I didn’t necessarily like the answers I found. I’m too proud to admit I’m broken. I’m too afraid that if I don’t start now, I’ll never start at all. I’m too worried that I’m replaceable. I’m too impatient to wait for healing. I don’t trust that others will wait for me to find wholeness. I’m too angry to let go. I’m too stubborn to give up.For me, the root of it all is this: waiting feels weak. It doesn’t feel tactical—it feels weak.
But, didn’t God give a promise in His word that He would renew the strength of those that wait on Him? Isaiah 40:31 says this, “…but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 ESV)
I think about David. He was anointed to be king years before he was actually made king. He had so much conflict with the current King Saul before hand too, and he had ample opportunity to push for things to happen—to reach his promised destination by his own strength. In 1 Samuel chapter 24, David approaches King Saul in a cave while he was relieving himself. David is presented with an opportunity to take Saul’s life and assume his role as king. But, David doesn’t do it. He waits.
I could imagine some of David’s men questioning his choice to spare the king’s life. They may have thought it unwise and weak to ignore the opportunity to take matters into his own hands. Yet, the same thing happens again in chapter 26. This time David approached the king and his army while they were sleeping. While there, one of David’s men said to him, “Today God has delivered your enemy into your hands…” (1 Samuel 26:8 NIV) But, again, David refuses to take matters into his own hands.
David could have reached his promised destination much sooner if he had taken matters into his own hands. But, only God knows how much harder his kingship would have been if he hadn’t waited on God. All I know is what I can see when I compare David’s life to Saul’s: one king waited on God to fulfill the promise, and one moved into authority by the will of men. And, while David waited to become king, God strengthened him and his family (2 Samuel 3:1). In this, David recognized the same truth that the Apostle Paul talks about in Philippians: God’s strength, not man’s, brings purpose.
“For it is [not your strength, but it is] God who is effectively at work in you, both to will and to work [that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the longing and the ability to fulfill your purpose] for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13 AMP)
So, I really need to get over the lie that waiting is weak, and start viewing it as strategically necessary. Waiting on God is wise. Not taking matters into my own hands is wise.
“…do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble…” (Proverbs 3:21-23 NIV)
It’s okay to wait. It’s okay for me to give myself time to heal. It’s okay to not push while I’m still broken. I may still arrive at my destination while broken or hurting, but it’s so much wiser to wait on God and be renewed in His strength.
“Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!”
(Psalm 31:24 ESV)
“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!” (Psalm 27:14 TPT)
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