Last week we went on a spontaneous family adventure to Rock City Forest. Prior to our trip, a friend of ours had told us about the enormous boulders that gave the forest its name. He spoke of gigantic rock formations that towered over hiking trails, and we were all very excited to get out there and explore the hidden treasures of God’s creation.
The trip was only about an hour and twenty minutes from our home, but when traveling with young children an hour and twenty minutes can feel like an eternity. By the time we arrived at Rock City Forest we had two sleeping girls and two antsy boys. I was more than ready to get out of the van, but we had never been to this state park before and my husband wanted to have a better idea of where to park before unloading the family. He pulled off to view a map by a trail near the entrance of the park. But, the picture was faded and difficult to read. We didn’t see any rock formations, so we decided to keep driving through the park in search for a more sensational place to stop. We passed a few less than exciting hiking trails before reaching a dead-end. When we stopped, both of my sons didn’t hesitate to unbuckle themselves and jump out of the vehicle. I looked around to survey our surroundings. There were some picnic tables and campsites that branched off of a dirt road roundabout, but I didn’t see any boulders.
“Is this the right place?” I asked my husband. Nether of us were exactly sure. I felt a little disappointed, but also hopeful that we would find something amazing before we left. We woke up the girls, and I strapped the baby into a carrier across my chest. I asked the boys which trail they wanted to try first. Both of them chose their own path directly in front of us, but for some reason I was drawn to the path that was furthest to my left.
“Let’s go this way, kids!” I exclaimed as I pointed in the direction I wanted to go.
“Where are the big rocks, mom?” my oldest asked. I knew he and I were probably thinking the same thing.
I went on ahead as the kids took their time to catch up. As I walked over towards the trail, I noticed the ground harden underneath a blanket of moss. My eyes peered ahead into the forest as I looked for a lost rock city. But, when I moved forward I noticed a gap in the earth. I looked down the gapping crevasse, and what I saw made me laugh with a sense of embarrassment.
I called out to my oldest son. “Do you know why we don’t see any big rocks?”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because we’re standing on one.”
It had been a particularly rough week. I had been fighting off feelings of hopelessness and depression. I was lonely. I felt like I wasn’t hearing God’s voice as often or as clearly as I normally do. I was desperately groping in the dark for something concrete to hold on to, but I wasn’t finding the security I desired. It was difficult, and I questioned whether or not I was in the right place.
Is this really where you want me, Lord? Am I living in your will? It’s hard to see You right now, but I’m searching. I’m searching so desperately to find You.
And, all at once in this moment, as I looked down to see that I was standing on one of biggest boulders I had ever seen, I felt the Lord answer my prayer.
“Hear my cry, O God; attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
(Psalms 61:1-2 NKJV)
I could hear the Spirit speak to me, “I’m here. You’re standing on Me.”
“Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” (Isaiah 26:4 ESV)
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
(Psalm 18:2 ESV)
“There is none holy like the Lord: for there is none besides you; there is no rock
like our God.” (1 Samuel 2:2 ESV)
As we continued through the trail, each and every turn transformed disappointment into hope—depression into literal and tangible joy—as if God was leading me through a secret place and into the Holy of Holies to be held close to His heart.
I remembered something that my Dad had said to me. He said that sometimes it can be hard to see God, but that’s when He’s holding us closely to His heart. And, sometimes things can seem dark, but that’s when we can be found in the shadow of His wings. (Deuteronomy 32:11-13, Psalm 57:1, 91:4, Luke 13:34)
In those moments of desperation, it can be so easy to feel far from God. And, when I feel far from Him I start to question His will in my life. I start to wonder if I’m good enough, strong enough, able enough, smart enough…But, when I finally realize where I’m standing (on His firm foundation), that’s when I realize I don’t have to be any of those things because He already is. He is the I AM. He is good, He is strong, He is able, He is wise, and He is my firm foundation.
“He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.” (Psalm 62:2 NLT)
He is the security that is necessary to my life. And, in Him I will not be moved.
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