My 10-month old has been walking for almost a month now. She's definitely gaining confidence in her new found skill, and she's been taking her ability to it's limit. She's pretty fearless when it comes to trying out new things.
Yesterday I watched as my husband interacted with my daughter. He was guiding her and supporting her as she tried her daredevil stunts. At times, I even wondered if she knew he was there. Or, maybe, to her, his nearness blended into the background like the gentle support of a scaffold to a building.
As she continued to attempt ambitious climbs, he stood close, but he rarely touched her. He occasionally offered his hand to her. She'd deny his offer most of the time as she moved with independence. But, he never left her side.
I slowly shifted my thoughts to my relationship with God. I saw how His hand is always there to help guide me, lead me, and encourage me to new spiritual heights. Suddenly, I became aware of His nearness to me.
I thought, "You've been there all along, Lord. Even when I thought You were afar off, You've never left my side."
He said, "I will never leave you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)
As I watched my husband with my daughter, I could see the excitement on his face when she would try and succeed. And, then I knew that this moment reflected God's excitement and approval towards me. I could feel a sense of holy satisfaction.
"But the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love."
(Psalm 147:11)
My husband encouraged my daughter's fearlessness. He didn't once tell her something was too hard for her. Instead, he only reassured her of His presence.
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
If she started to fall, he would catch her. If she did fall, he would pick her up and set her back on her feet. If she got hurt, he would pick her up in his arms and comfort her.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3)
Then I realized that my husband wasn't just encouraging her to be fearless, to grow in her abilities, and to gain strength. He was also teaching her how to be a good supporter, a good teacher, a good comforter, and some day, a good parent.
Sometimes she struggled. Sometimes she cried out for help. But, in these moments I knew that it was all a part of the bigger picture—the learning process. And, isn't it all? Isn't everything I go through a small thread in the woven tapestry that is my life? Doesn't it all play a significant role in the person I am and of the one I am becoming? From before I was even a thought in my mother's mind, God knew me and He was already present for me.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)
And, in an instant I could see it. For the first time in my entire life, I could see all of time before me. God always present. God always in existence. Forever past. Forever future. And, me—my soul, my being with Him. My Father, my God, my King and me—His child, His beloved, His bride—at His side (or, perhaps He at mine).
"Before the mountains were born,before you birthed the earth and the inhabited world—
from forever in the past to forever in the future, you are God." (Psalm 90:2)
The bigger picture is much more beautiful than I could ever imagine. It's incredible. It's awe inspiring. And, I only have a small taste—a small glimpse of what God is doing with me, to me, and through me. Imagine how much more He wishes to reveal to me! If I am obedient to hear, and to recognize His ever present Spirit, He will continue to teach me. And, not only for my past and for my present, but also for my future—for the intended purpose for which I was created.
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart has imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
All I have to do is:
Keep climbing.
Keep learning.
Keep being fearless.
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