With the third baby on the way, my husband and I have decided to turn our spare bedroom into the boys' room. Over the past few months I've started collecting items for the transition. I'm always searching for what we need on sale or at an affordable price.
Our rooms are small so we have to use our space very wisely. For instance, a room with two toddler beds or two twin beds in it would seem really crowded. So, when I see that bunkbed set is marked at 50% off, I'm going to get it. I'm not a frivolous spender, and I never have been. My grandma on my dad's side used to take me clothes shopping, and we always had a budget. And, boy, did I make that dollar stretch. She was always super impressed with how much I was able to get, even down to the penny.
Now, my husband and I are what society would label as "middle class" or the "working class." We're not swimming in riches, but we definitely have everything we need and then some. God has really blessed us with everything we have. He truly has.
Sometimes I forget about God's blessings and I struggle with wanting things I can't have, or feeling like I need something else to "complete" me. In those moments I feel so frustrated with money. I get angry when I feel like money keeps me from accomplishing a dream, making a difference in the world, or holds me stagnant in achievement. My dad always says, "What angers you, owns you." Well, daddy, I hate to admit it, but in those moments I'm letting money own me. I'm tying those chains around my own feet.
Today I was struggling. I had ordered a twin comforter online for my youngest so we could move him into a "big boy bed." The deal was literally amazing! I was banking on this one for sure. And, shipping was free to boot! But, not everything that glitters is gold. I received the comforter in the mail today, and the company sent me the wrong one. I spent over an hour trying to find a way to contact their customer service. Once I was finally able to reach someone I tried to be patient and understanding. I know a lot of companies have "policies" that are in place that are an "inconvenience" to the customers. I also know that those policies are not the operator's fault. I realize they are humans with feelings. But, so am I. I don't want to be talked to like I'm incapable of understanding the situation, and I don't want responses to be rehearsed and impersonal. If the company made a mistake, I'd hope for them to do their best to make it right. And, not to ask for their customers to jump through a thousand hoops just to tell them that they can't process their request. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened.
Now, I have to shake it off and move on. I can't stew on the matter and let it affect the rest of my day. I have to make a choice.
I know we all have bad days. I know not every day comes "easy." I know sometimes we have to work for happiness. I know sometimes it's a war to "choose joy." I know that it absolutely is a choice. I know it's a choice I have to make. I can choose to have a bad day, or I can choose to fight for a good one. I can choose to BELIEVE. I can choose to have DREAMS. I can choose to TRUST GOD. I can choose.
I need to remember that God paid the price already for all of these "annoyances." (And, trust me, these "annoyances" are far less than half of the world's worries.) The price He paid is worth more than money could ever buy. The riches of the Kingdom of God are worth so much more than anything I could ever buy on earth.
This is something Jesus' followers know well. Peter, for instance, knew that money could never replace the wonderful and miraculous things that the Holy Spirit could accomplish through the sacrifice that Christ made. In Acts chapter 3 Peter comes across a lame man begging for money. Peter turns and says to him, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." (Acts 3:6) The man was given the use of his legs instead of the money he was asking for. And, his response? Walking, and leaping, and praising God.
Sometimes we only allow ourselves to see our lives based on what's impossible rather than what God sees as possible. He doesn't always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need. "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) And, what He gives me is so much better than what I could have ever expected!
When I place an order in God's Kingdom, I don't always get exactly what I asked for. But, God doesn't disappoint. He gives better than what we ask for. Sometimes it doesn't seem better, especially if I'm so caught up on what I asked for that I don't allow myself to see the good and the better in what God has in store. If I have a question, He doesn't treat me like an imbecile. He teaches me. He shows me. He urges me to trust His will and His ways. And, trust me, I'd be a fool to try and make an exchange or a return because God's ways are PERFECT!
"As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him." (Psalm 18:30)
Money doesn't own me. Worry doesn't own me. It isn't in my job description to worry. God just wants me to go on praising Him and living my life to the fullest in the impossibly possible wonders of His love!
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