A few days ago I found myself dreading doing the laundry. It's not my least favorite chore, but it did mange to get away from me this past week. The piles waiting to go into the wash were begging to be called Mount Kili-mom-jaro, and I was beginning to think if I went into the basement I would never see the light of day again. Of course, I'm exaggerating...a little anyways.
There were probably a total of ten loads to be done, which is about five times more than normal for me. So, instead of my usual wash-dry-fold-put-away routine, I ended up washing and drying and making more piles. More and more and more piles! At least the mountain of laundry smelled better, right?
I brought the kids into the basement with me so I could start chiseling away at the eight loads of now clean laundry that needed to be folded. But, for some reason, the kids are usually more interested in what I'm doing than playing in their play area with their toys. My two-year old really likes to help me with laundry. His favorite part is sorting the laundry into piles. That's because he likes to pretend that he's making a big pile of leaves to jump into. It's really cute...but not so much when he tries to unfold my already folded laundry to make a bigger pile of leaves. Of course my ten-month old chimes in because, hey, it really does look like fun!
And, it was really fun for them, but it wasn't much fun for me. I started to get frustrated, and I found myself saying, "Not Mommy's piles!" every time they would get close to me. I already made the laundry a bigger task by waiting so long to do it, I really didn't want to spend even more time re-folding clothes (side note: I'm really starting to get why some moms don't fold laundry).
I was turning into the laundry police. You know, that not-so-nice officer that comes out anytime laundry is left out on the floor in the middle of the room or is laying next to the basket rather than in the basket? Yeah, her. Instead of encouraging my child's imagination, letting loose, and jumping in a few piles myself, I got annoyed and frazzled. I didn't use it as a learning opportunity either. I could have let those tiny hands "help" me fold laundry. I mean, it's laundry, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be done.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when the hamper full of folded and organized laundry got dumped all over the floor. I let out a long and loud groan as I grit my teeth, and my kids cried. They knew mommy wasn't happy. I feel really bad when this happens, but it also helps put me in check. When my kids are upset I can change gears really quickly (thank, God!). I hugged them both and tried to calmly explain to them why I was feeling upset. "Mommy doesn't like it when her piles get knocked over. I really want to be able to play with you, but I also have to get this done first." Then I invited them to my laundry party, which is my fun way of asking them to help me put laundry away.
Sometimes things like this happen in my house. Sometimes I let my work-before-play attitude get a little out of hand. I'm very task oriented, and I like to have task one fully completed before moving on to task two. And, I really, really like having all of my work finished for the day before I wind down into play mode. My two-year old is also very task oriented. When I see this in him it's like looking in the mirror.
The other day he was attempting to carry all of his toy cars at the same time. He kept getting aggravated every time one of them would fall. He started crying and saying "oh, no!" over and over again. I stepped in and tried to show him how to move one at a time, use his shirt to carry them all, or put them all in a bucket to be carried. As I'm teaching him these things, I find that he's not the only one learning. I'm learning too. I'm learning that my children will do what they see displayed before them, and if I'm displaying anxiety and frustration so will they.
While growing up, my parents had this picture hanging in mine and my brother's bedroom. It was of train and underneath was written, "Train up a child in the way he should go..." This made reference to the verse in Proverbs 22 that says "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
You see, there's this responsibility that comes along with being a parent. It's the responsibility I have to teach my children the differences between right and wrong, how to behave, and how to treat others kindly. The hard part is, I can't just tell them what I want them to do. I have to be the example. I have to set the bar. I want my children to be better than me not stuck at par for the course. The beautiful thing is when I live for them, and not just me, I get better too.
The first thing I want to tackle is worry. I don't want my children being worried or anxious about anything. I want to take to heart Philippians 4:6-7. It says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Can I really find peace in a mountain of laundry? Yes. I need to. I have to. It may seem like a small thing, but I know that if I can find God's perfect peace even in the little annoyances I will be able to find that same peace in the bigger anxieties. If I give all that I am to God and start thanking Him for what I have rather than only ever asking him for what I will be able to live in peace. This peace, this beautiful, wonderful peace is a gift from God that will protect my heart and my mind from assumptions, anxious thoughts, fear, doubt, and worry.
This is the kind of example I want to lead for my children. I want to teach them that life is full of opportunities to have peace. Life is fully of opportunities to see mountains as a pile of leaves to be jumped in. And, if I trust in God, He helps me look at life through peaceful eyes.
"Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you..." Psalms 55:22
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