I've recently started asking my children for privacy when I'm in the bathroom. I know it might not seem like a big deal, but it is to me. Having that five minutes to myself (to pray, to think, to plan) is a game changer. It helps to set the pace for the rest of the day.
As a mother, I generally do less for myself and more for my kids. It's a natural instinct to put the needs of my children first. Most of the decisions I make, and the way I operate (my lifestyle) is very reliant on what my children's needs are. I love my children, and I would do anything for them. But, sometimes I feel like I don't do enough for myself. I start to feel neglected, exhausted, and worn-out. Then, I feel guilty for feeling like I need to take time for myself because I some how convince myself that taking time for myself makes me a bad mom. When, in reality, it makes me a really good mom. And, I'll tell you why.
Towards the beginning of my third pregnancy I felt God telling me to take better care of the way I look and my appearance. It was something that I had let go of because I was a mom of 2-under-2 and it was just so much easier to not spend the extra time on myself. But, what I realized is I feel better, act better, and have more patience with others when I first take time for myself. I don't mean spa and salon trips every week (I mean, I'm starting small here with alone time while I use the bathroom), and I don't mean ignoring my children for 30 minutes while I get ready in the morning. No. I'm talking about showing my kids that mommy has needs too. They can be with me while I take 10 minutes to do my hair and makeup. I just tell them what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. And, hey! It's OK to spend a little bit of time on the way I look. It's not vain. It's self care.
I am God's master piece. He is the artisan, and I am His design. I am the works of His hands.
"For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalms 139"13-14)
Trust me, this was a hard concept to for to learn. But, God wants me to take care of myself. When I show my children that I care about who I am, I'm also teaching them to care about who I am. And, if I take it a step further, I'm teaching them to care about who they are as individuals too.
In Matthew, Jesus revealed to us the two greatest commandments. Matthew 12:30-31 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” The first commandment is to Love God fully! Can, I tell you a secret? Taking time to do the things that I love to do is an act of worship before God. When I take the time to play piano, it is a time of worship before God. When I take the time to paint a new painting, it is an act of worship before God. It is one of the gifts that He gave to me, and It's my way of giving that gift back to Him. What good are the gifts from God if we neglect them?
"Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers" (I Timothy 4:14-16).
In the latter half of this verse, Paul is telling Timothy that in choosing not to neglect his own gifts, he is in turn saving himself and others. In doing this, Timothy's actions become a testimony to others on how to worship and honor God through the gifts that He has given to us. This is why I take time to be creative, and I teach my children to take time to be creative. This is why I let my children see that I love to write music. This is why when I'm sitting at the piano writing a song, and my son asks me to help him with something, (unless it's an emergency) I let him know I need a few more minutes to finish what I'm working on. Because, my worship unto God is important.
Ok, I'm not perfect, and I don't have it all worked out yet. Sometimes I'll go days, even weeks without taking time to be creative unto God because I'm consumed in my acts of service for my family, for my students, for church, and for others. Everything I do, I do in love, and I truly love to give of myself. But, I've realized that if I'm constantly giving of myself and not allowing time for myself than I'm actually not helping everyone else out in the best way that I can. Let me explain.
The second commandment that Jesus gave was to "love your neighbor as yourself." Well, often times I grasp the first part of this phrase and not the second part. I distort what Christ said and some how think that I have to give everything I have (emotionally, physically, mentally) to better other people98 and I have to ignore myself to make that possible. But, Christ said to love other people in the way that we love ourselves. So, don't I have to love myself in order to be able to love others? If I want to be the best mom that I can be, I have to have see the value in myself so I can truly value how precious and incredible my children are. Because God thinks I'm precious and incredible too, and He wants me know that I am. If God thought I was worth it, than I need to start believing that I am and acting like I am. Because, I am. I am worth it.
"But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted." (I Peter 2:9-10)
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