My boys have been fighting over toys lately. When it's going to happen is almost predictable now. Yet, for some reason, I still haven't been able to prevent it. They just want the same thing at the same time, and taking turns isn't exactly a skill that's been mastered yet. My oldest son understands waiting his turn more than my 20-month old. But, that doesn't mean he's always willing to wait.
They other day the fighting got so bad that little metal matchbox cars were being thrown at the wall and thrown at each other out of frustration. My youngest threw one at his brother's face, and you better believe that I packed up those cars and stored them away as fast as I could. And, that's where they're going to stay--in the closest for a very. long. time.
Consequences stink, but they're also necessary. It hurt my boys to take away their favorite toys. And, believe it or not, it hurts me too. I don't like removing the blessings from my kids. I'd rather give blessings than remove blessings.
As a parent, though, I have to make those tough decisions. I have to make these decisions, because I want my kids to learn from their mistakes. I want them to make the best choices they can make. And, without the consequences for bad decisions they're unable to determine what's right and what's wrong.
I know that when Samuel said in 1 Samuel 15:22 that "obedience is better than sacrifice" he was referring to the actual act of giving sacrifices to God. But, there's part of me that wants to read it in a different way too. "Obedience is better than sacrifice." Well, what kind of sacrifice? What am I sacrificing when I don't obey? Am I sacrificing the blessing?
It's hard to know for sure, but I can imagine that when I choose to not heed God's voice, or when I choose to willfully sin (no matter how big or small) that I'm sacrificing something. Obedience IS better than sacrifice.
The other day I took the boys to the park while my husband finished up a project at home. It was a hot day and I was planning on taking them out for a special ice-cream treat afterwards. But...The boys were having a really hard time obeying. They made some decisions that made me change my mind. It was hard for me to take that blessing away from them. What was even harder for me as their mother was knowing that they didn't know. They had no idea I was planning on taking them somewhere special, and I never told them. Sometimes the blessing is removed and the people it was intended for have no idea.
It really made me think about myself. I mean, how many times have I missed out? And, of course I don't want to obey for the blessings. I want to obey because I love God and love the people around me. Which is why God doesn't always let me know what I'm missing out on. My obedience needs to be genuine and not reluctant. I mean Jesus himself said, "If you love me, keep my commands." (John 14:15)
This is why I want my kids to obey what I tell them. It's not because I'm a psycho-control-freak. No, it's because I love them and I want what's best for them. I want them to be safe. I want them to be loving. I want them to be kind individuals who consider the feelings of others. I want them to listen to me while they are young so they can learn to maneuver their way through life's decisions. And, most of all I want them to live a life full of blessings!
I have a tendency to ask my boys if they have their listening ears turned on, but what I really should be asking is if they are ready to obey. Christ said in Luke 11:28, "Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it." It's not just about listening. It's about listening AND obeying. I could know exactly what to do and how to handle a situation and still choose to do the exact opposite. And, let me tell you. I have made that mistake before...more than once. It usually happens in the middle of an argument or a conversation I'm having with another person. It's like my mind is saying, "You know, Cheyenne, you probably shouldn't respond that way." or, "Cheyenne, don't say that. It's unkind and inconsiderate." But, yet I still say it. I want to get that last jab in before the dramatic exit. Cue eye-roll. And, seriously, though. I'm acting very "child-like" and I'm disobeying that still small voice inside of me. Yikes! What have I done, and what blessings have I skirted because I just had to get the last word in?
Disobedience can affect more than just me, too. Romans 5:19 says, "...by one man's disobedience many were made sinners..." That means that the decisions I make are the example I set for others. If I show people how to disobey and they watch me disobey than they think it's ok to do the same thing. And, then a rebellion starts...and not the good kind. But, wait! There's more to this verse. The rest of Romans 5:19 says, "...so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous." Redemption is here! Being obedient can help others make good choices too!
I see this with my kids too. When one of them makes a good decision it inspires the other one to make that decision as well. Wow! The power of influence is real. Obedience is better. It's better than sacrificing the blessings. It's better than sacrificing the blessings of others. And, it's a ripple effect. The more I obey the voice of God, the more others will be able to hear and obey the voice of God. Then, we will all be living a very blessed life!
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