“Mom, why aren’t you going?” I hear my 6-year old ask in frustration from the backseat of our minivan. I had to stop at a red light before we were able to turn left. This particular intersection didn’t have an advanced green-arrow, and my son couldn’t understand why I still hadn’t moved now that the light had turned green.
“I’m waiting for traffic to clear.” I tried to explain to him why it was necessary for me to wait even while the traffic signal was green. My son couldn’t see what I could see. He didn’t notice the pedestrians waiting to cross the street. He couldn’t see the long line of cars in oncoming traffic. All he could see was that the light was green—the light was green and I wasn’t moving.
The light turned yellow, but the oncoming traffic failed to slowdown. I inched forward knowing I would have to take the turn as the cars in front of me slowed. But, now a teenager waited to cross at the crosswalk and I couldn’t tell if he noticed me. I looked at him, and I waited to see what he would do. I looked up at the signal that was now directly above me. It was red. I had to get out of the intersection. When I looked back at the teenager he made eye contact with me, and that’s when I knew it was okay to continue on our route.
The light was red, and it was my time to go.
The timing of my life hasn’t made a whole lot of sense to me for a while now. Everything seems to be discombobulated and jumbled up. There’s been a lot of waiting, a lot of slow moving, and a lot of drawn-out learning. I keep wondering why things are taking so long. Why is it taking so long for me to (fill in the blank with just about anything)? There have been numerous moments when I can easily relate to my frustrated son in the back row of our vehicle. Everything around me is seemly giving the signal to go, go, go! But…nothings happening. I feel stuck—stuck in the process, but never accomplishing the goal; stuck in the journey, but never arriving at the destination.
But, I’ve failed to notice what God’s noticing. I’ve failed to see what He’s orchestrating. And, I’ve failed to trust His perfect timing.
Sometimes the timing of things that happen in life can look very confusing, and especially so when I choose to look at these situations through my own lens. But, I can’t always see the bigger picture. I don’t always notice how the timing of what happens in my life has to align with the life of someone else. It’s just like the way the cars in traffic weave in and out with each other. The timing of what’s happening to me fits into eternity somehow, and sometimes that means not going when the signal is green.
My mom and I were talking about feeling ready the other day. It’s a feeling that I have a love-hate relationship with nowadays. Readiness, that is.
About six months ago I felt ready—ready to go back to work, ready to resume events and gatherings, ready for the business of life to return. But, then I had the opportunity for all of that to happen and I wasn’t ready any more. The light was green and I couldn’t go. I started getting phone calls for new opportunities—opportunities to begin ventures that my past self would have longed to do. But, I wasn’t ready. It felt crazy to do it, but I turned them down. In another life, I would have made those opportunities work out even if it meant rearranging my schedule and redesigning my dreams. But, in exercising my patience I could sense a little bit of the bigger picture. If I turned now, even though the signal was green, I could cause an accident—a domino effect that could put others at risk too.
While my mom and I talked about readiness, she reminded me of this passage from the Gospels:
Later Jesus was going about his business in Galilee. He didn’t want to travel in Judea because the Jews there were looking for a chance to kill him. It was near the time of Tabernacles, a feast observed annually by the Jews.
His brothers said, “Why don’t you leave here and go up to the Feast so your disciples can get a good look at the works you do? No one who intends to be publicly known does everything behind the scenes. If you’re serious about what you are doing, come out in the open and show the world.” His brothers were pushing him like this because they didn’t believe in him either.
Jesus came back at them, “Don’t pressure me. This isn’t my time. It’s your time—it’s always your time; you have nothing to lose. The world has nothing against you, but it’s up in arms against me. It’s against me because I expose the evil behind its pretensions. You go ahead, go up to the Feast. Don’t wait for me. I’m not ready. It’s not the right time for me.”
He said this and stayed on in Galilee. But later, after his family had gone up to the Feast, he also went. But he kept out of the way, careful not to draw attention to himself. (John 7:1-10 MSG)
Jesus’ brothers could see the bigger picture. They didn’t know how the puzzle pieces all fit together. They didn’t understand the complexity of God’s perfect timing. But, Jesus knew. And, He knew that sometimes perfect timing doesn’t make sense. Sometimes the difference between bad timing and perfect timing is a split moment in time or a fraction of a second. Sometimes, (chuckling to myself) it just means waiting for the light to turn red.
It can be difficult to discern God’s perfect timing in a world that grooms people into the addiction of immediacy. False urgencies can cause me to act quickly, and that’s not always the best thing to do. You see, God works in a way that is outwardly incomprehensible. He doesn’t always fulfill His promises immediately, and He doesn’t respond instinctively or reactively. Everything is meticulously designed to pull together the tapestry of eternity beyond my comprehension. And, even though the timing of life feels off right now, I know that if I trust His omnificence, discern with His spirit, and move in His timing everything will happen exactly when it’s supposed to. Because, His timing is complexly perfect.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV)
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