This morning was refreshing. It was the first time in a while I've been able to enjoy chores. It was the first time in a while I've been able to keep my energy high enough to enjoy horsing around with the kids. It's been a while. It's been too long.
It's been a while since I've felt a burst of energy. Between everyone in my household having the stomach flu, all of my raging pregnancy hormones, trying to keep up with work, family, and friends and starting a few new projects, this mama has been EX-HAUS-TED. I'm talking about the kind of tired that makes you feel like you need toothpicks holding your eyelids open 24/7. It's been difficult. But, today. *refreshing sigh* Today has been hopeful. Today has reminded me a little bit of who I am when I'm capable and able. Today has made me look forward to who I'm going to be moving forward.
Maybe it's because I've officially crossed over into the second trimester (Yahoo!), or maybe it's because my husband and I were finally able to have a much needed and long overdo date. Or, maybe It's because I've made an effort over the past two days to actually rest. I mean, really rest and allow my body to rejuvenate after so many weeks of "just barely making it."
You see, I have this problem. It's a problem I've forced on myself. It's one I've adapted over a series of years and lifestyle choices. What's my problem? It's that I choose a pace (usually in overdrive) and I keep working at that pace day-in and day-out until I'm totally burnt out. That's usually when I get sick, or get overwhelmed and frustrated, or when there starts to be unneeded amounts of tension between me and my loved ones (Sorry, to my hubby!).
Some people set resolutions in the beginning of the year. I've done it a few times , but I'm not always serious about whatever it is I say I'm going to do. (Although, I am happy to say that flossing my teeth every night has been a resolution I have maintained for years now!) Well, this year, I knew I needed to address my common burn-out trend. You see, it's all about the pace. It's about learning to set the gears to adequately match my circumstances.
My husband and I were recently watching a movie about a high-school cross country running team. In a final championship race, one of the better runners got eager to win. In doing this, he pushed himself hard. He pushed himself too hard. He burned out and ended up being the slowest runner on his team. This moment really spoke to me about the way I push myself. When I push myself too hard I burn out, and then what good am I to my team? What good does that do for my co-workers? What good does this do for my family?
My problem goes a little bit further than myself, though. I've given myself a reputation of being able to handle being in "overdrive" for long amounts of time. People expect it of me. And, unfortunately, sometimes I get taken advantage of. I'm the one that will pick up the slack, and do my best for the team, even if it "kills" me. But, if I let myself get to that point, I'm not doing anyone any good. And, that's not my intension or my desire.
In order for people (families, co-workers, friends, etc.) to work together in healthy relationships, we all have to keep the pace--a pace that helps us succeed and not burn out. In the end, my burn out problem can be just as bad as if I didn't try at all. Trying too hard and not trying hard enough are both unhealthy balances. And, "A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight." Proverbs 11:1. In all honesty, both problems can turn into a vicious cycle that cause us to have ill feelings towards ourselves and towards others. If I don't try hard enough, then someone else has to make up for my slack, which means now that person is in danger of burn-out. If I try too hard, it gives other people a reason not to try at all, which also leads to burn-out.
Ok, so, I'm not trying to point out whose fault burn-out is. What it really all boils down to is the fact that we all hold responsibility. We're all different and we all handle life best at different paces. The most important part of this responsibility is knowing that you are doing what's best for the team when you run at a pace that just right for you.
My 15-month old created a running track in our living room. He used toys to create the boarder and then started doing laps. I cheered him on and clapped as he ran (well, it was more of a quick power walk) around the room over and over again. My two-year old wanted to get in on the action and started running around the room too. Only my two year old was much more equipped physically for the task at hand, and he was running three laps in the time that it took my 15-month old to run one lap. Was my 15-month old not trying hard enough? No. Was my Two-year old trying too hard? No, he wasn't. They were both doing their best at a pace that was just right for them.
So what's the moral of this story? It's to focus on what my pace is. It's about doing everything I do well. Which means work, play, and rest. One of my dearest friends (you can visit her blog site here: https://elaurent1.wixsite.com/freshandrusty?fbclid=IwAR3_ZQUGpvxYNvCQslRCiljAJowTh_FBOmBPgUMvFuSiFhaxJwzVZSGgw_ctells) always tells me to "rest well," and what she means is literally allowing myself to get the most out of my pit stops and water breaks. This helps prevent burn-out. I know God is teaching me a lot about keeping the pace in every area of my life. I want to keep a steady, consistent, and most importantly a reliable pace in my family life, in my friendships, in my workplace, and everywhere and anywhere I go.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." (Hebrews12:1-2a)
Theres two phrases I love most about the above passage. The first one is "let us throw off everything that hinders..." What's the hindrance. Does not trying hard enough hinder me? Yes. Does trying too hard hinder me? It might not look like it right away, but it the long unit's not doing me any good. And the second phrase? This is the most important one. "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes of Jesus..." So, what's the key to having good and healthy and successful pace? Keeping my eyes on Jesus. When my eyes are set on me, that's when I tend to not try hard enough. When my eyes are fixed on others, that's when I tend to try too hard. But, when my eyes are set on Christ. That's when I do my absolute best in every area of my life. That's when I succeed. That's when my team succeeds. That's when we all succeed.
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