A few nights ago my 1-month old stayed up much later than her brothers. I laid her down on the couch next to me and talked to her as she cooed back at me. She stretched her arms and legs with excitement, but when she did she rolled slightly to the left and ended up turning towards the back of the couch. She immediately started to cry. I called out to her, but she couldn't see me. I could tell she heard my voice, but she still couldn't see me so she cried louder. (Now I wasn't sure if she could hear me either.) As I picked her up in my arms, I could hear the Holy Spirit whisper in my heart, "Look for me." And, as soon as my daughter could see me, she stopped crying.
There have been days when I have cried out in frustration and asked for God to intervene. There have been days when I have felt like I'm drowning miles beneath subpar, and I've wanted God to speak to me and show me He's still here. But, I wasn't listening. I was busy crying and worrying rather than looking for God in my need. There's been times I've wondered when I would hear from God, or if I would ever hear from Him, but in watching my daughter cry out for me I've realized one thing--He's always been, and will always be right beside me.
"Look for me..." He says, "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12, 13)
Ok, Holy Spirit. I will look for you in the craziness of the day or in the chaos of the moment. I'll look for You when I'm blinded by feelings or hurt. I'll look for You.
"..And surly I am with you always..." (Matthew 28:20)
But, what about the times when it's really, really hard to sense Your presence?
"I will talk to the Father, and he’ll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth...you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!" (John 14: 15-17)
As I heard the words of the Spirit and read the Word of the Father, I was reminded of another instance my daughter was crying out for me. She was in her room napping when she started crying. I was using the restroom and heard my 3-year old run up the stairs into her nursery. I hurried to get her, but by the time I reached her room she wasn't sad anymore. My son had crawled into her crib and put his arm around her. I watched him pat her back and gently say, "There, there, I'm here. I'm here." And, there it was. A picture of the Spirit of Truth that rushes in to meet me when I'm crying out for God. He is the Great Comforter that comes to meet me in my sorrow.
The Spirit of Truth that disables and corrects the lies I've spoken over myself. The lies that say I'm not good enough. He says that I am worth dying for (Romans 5:8). The lies that say I can't do this. He says that I can (Philippians 4:13). The lies that say I'm alone. He says He is with me wherever I am (Joshua 1:9). The lies that say I'm ugly. He says I am beautiful (Psalm 139:14). The lies that say I'm incomplete. He says I am complete in Him (Colossians 2:10).
Whenever I start to feel insecure I'll find away to hold on to Truth. I'll look for God. I'll search for Him. I'll set my face towards Him. I'll look to Him and find comfort.
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