I spend most of my day meeting needs. It’s not much of a surprise because I am a mom of four young children, so naturally that comes with the territory. Some days I’m needed more than others, but there’s usually a good balance in how much I’m needed or when I’m needed between the four kids. Then again, there are also days when there’s no ebb and only flow. That’s when I find myself running from one thing to the next just making sure everyone has exactly what they need. By the time bedtime comes around I’m far too tired to even take care of my own needs and usually fall asleep hungry and dirty.
Being needed can be downright exhausting. My body gets tired. My soul gets weary. My mind gets clouded.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love being needed by my family, but I’ll tell you what I love even more. I love to be wanted.
I feel like there’s such a gigantic difference in fulfillment of relationships when I’m wanted verses when I’m only needed. I could pour myself out over and over again when I know I’m wanted. Little encouragements from the kids go a long way. Words of affirmation and thankfulness like: “You’re the best mom ever!” and “I love you so much!” and “I like the way you did that for me.” and “thank you, Mama.” make every laboring moment easy-breezy.
Then, there are days I don’t hear “thank you.” There are days I hear more grumbling and complaining about the things I’ve done to provide for my children. Or, even worse, there are some days I feel flat out ignored. Ugh!
Then the Holy Spirit places the mirror up to my own face. How many times have I come to God only when I needed Him? How many times have I run to Him with a list of demands saying, “I’m hungry! Feed me! Give me a drink!” without a heart of gratitude or thanksgiving? How many days have I flat out ignored God and His presence and never once stopped to thank Him for what He’s done or provided?
God already knows He’s needed, but I have a feeling that part of my purpose here on earth is to let Him know He’s wanted—to worship, to praise, to thank!
“The beast of the field will honor Me, The jackals and the ostriches, Because I give waters in the wilderness And rivers in the desert, To give drink to My people, My chosen. This people I have formed for Myself; They shall declare My praise.”
(Isaiah 43:20-21 NKJV)
“Praise the Lord! Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”
(Psalms 106:1 NKJV)
A friend messaged me with a prayer request recently and in her message, she apologized for only reaching out when she needed help. I love this friend, so at the time, I thought nothing about her apology. Then today as I struggled with feelings of being needed and not wanted I recognized how holy that apology was. I knew it was a reflection of what I needed to do before God. I needed to apologize for only reaching out when I needed Him, when I was feeling desperate and lonely.
I’m sorry, God.
This has been something on my mind for a few weeks as I’ve reflected on what my own relationships look like. I’ve been hurting internally with some of my relationships being the “call me if you need me” type, especially when I’ve been really longing to hear “I want to spend time with you.”
I’ve searched my memory holding to the precious moments I’ve felt wanted—the time I was invited over for a summer swim, the day I was asked out for dinner, or the morning I woke up to an encouraging message from a friend. Even on the days I couldn’t make it, an invitation for quality time or a simple note of appreciation would go a long way. I could pour out endlessly and never feel depleted.
How beautiful it is to receive invitation! I mean, The first thing most people are taught to do when they come into faith is to invite Christ into their lives—to say “come in.”
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”
(Revelation 3:20 NKJV)
God longs for community and communion even more than I do. He wants to be wanted. He wants to be invited. He wants to. And, in the same way He invites me to come.
“And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.”
(Revelation 22:17 NKJV)
Thank you, God for showing me how much you want me. I accept Your invitation.
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